1. This seems pretty clear from Sandy’s perspective--so no questions. (Although I would be interested to know if and/or why your mom kept her news to herself.!)
2. I guess your mom’s reaction would depend on how close she was to Sandy.
3. Jack seems to have indulged (encouraged by Sandy) in that most human of endeavors: gossiping. No matter what anyone says men enjoy a good gossip just as much as women!
Absolutely agree with you on number three. And also that there is the range of interest in gossip among men about the same as for women: some of us enjoy it; others of us are indifferent. I have tried to find get in touch with some of the family who might know, and so far no luck. But good fun for the imagination!
Love this Sabrina! After my Dad died, I came into possession of a big box of stuff related to my father. Among the loot were bundles of love letters that he had written to mom when she was still in college and he was deciding to be a coal miner in West VA. I read about two of them, and couldn’t keep going--they were lovely and WAY too spicy for my daughterly eyes!
These moments really make us see our parents as other than our parents and makes me wonder what our children really know about us!
Oh wow, what a treat to find those letters. And yes, I absolutely understand your feeling of woah-I should NOT be reading this. Maybe they can be appreciated someday by YOUR children who are one generation removed. However, I'm starting to get an idea here: you can join me and my friend Eileen when we hole up for a week to read our parents' letters and can provide support as we laugh and cry together! Sort of like in the Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood...Whaddya think? We can include a bunch of us, and as we read through these letters, we can pick out sections to read aloud now and then. We can have categories: 'most tender', 'most ewie', 'pet names', 'phrases we've never heard before', 'interesting locations' and so forth.
And always, Sarah thanks for your comments and reading these posts!
Unfortunately, those letters didn’t make it through the downsizing process! I don’t regret it too much. Mom and dad were not a happy match for much of their marriage 😔. I regret that they felt culturally/socially unable to part ways and move on with their lives. Although I suppose I benefitted from the stability of the nuclear family on some level. Life was never unpleasant; there was just a nagging feeling that something was missing.
Anyway, I hope your session with Eileen prompts many posts here!
I recently reread some of my letters written to you and others during our college years and they sure didn't sound like the one you posted!
That huge stack of letters seems like a year's project. I wonder what you will find in them and what other gems, truths, and mysteries you will find about you and your parents. I have a huge stack I wrote my parents. Thank heavens my mother saved them but I haven't had the stamina to read many of them yet. Mostly because I wonder how I will use the contents. Too bad I'm not writing a memoir...
What saddens me is that so much of our parents' lives passed before our eyes and we had no clue or interest about them. Now that it's too late, I'm sorry I didn't probe. Probably the same gap happens between us and our children and someday, they, like many adults, will say the same thing. But one has to get to a certain age and maturity to even get that this is important. Like in their 60s :)
Wasn't that a kick? So unlike the writing in our day, I agree! I threw away most of my letters that my mom had kept, as well as diaries and all the childhood letters from my friends that I had kept. I know how overwhelmed I was at the time, and couldn't cope with the emotional volume of any more stuff. After feeling the relief when I let go of that weight (there was literally an enormous moving trunk FULL of paperwork), I was certain I did the right thing for my mental health. However I did notice that there are a couple of my letters tucked into this stack I have with me, and admit I am curious to see what is in there! Thanks as always for your thoughtful comments!
Ok, to answer your questions:
1. This seems pretty clear from Sandy’s perspective--so no questions. (Although I would be interested to know if and/or why your mom kept her news to herself.!)
2. I guess your mom’s reaction would depend on how close she was to Sandy.
3. Jack seems to have indulged (encouraged by Sandy) in that most human of endeavors: gossiping. No matter what anyone says men enjoy a good gossip just as much as women!
Absolutely agree with you on number three. And also that there is the range of interest in gossip among men about the same as for women: some of us enjoy it; others of us are indifferent. I have tried to find get in touch with some of the family who might know, and so far no luck. But good fun for the imagination!
Love this Sabrina! After my Dad died, I came into possession of a big box of stuff related to my father. Among the loot were bundles of love letters that he had written to mom when she was still in college and he was deciding to be a coal miner in West VA. I read about two of them, and couldn’t keep going--they were lovely and WAY too spicy for my daughterly eyes!
These moments really make us see our parents as other than our parents and makes me wonder what our children really know about us!
Oh wow, what a treat to find those letters. And yes, I absolutely understand your feeling of woah-I should NOT be reading this. Maybe they can be appreciated someday by YOUR children who are one generation removed. However, I'm starting to get an idea here: you can join me and my friend Eileen when we hole up for a week to read our parents' letters and can provide support as we laugh and cry together! Sort of like in the Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood...Whaddya think? We can include a bunch of us, and as we read through these letters, we can pick out sections to read aloud now and then. We can have categories: 'most tender', 'most ewie', 'pet names', 'phrases we've never heard before', 'interesting locations' and so forth.
And always, Sarah thanks for your comments and reading these posts!
Unfortunately, those letters didn’t make it through the downsizing process! I don’t regret it too much. Mom and dad were not a happy match for much of their marriage 😔. I regret that they felt culturally/socially unable to part ways and move on with their lives. Although I suppose I benefitted from the stability of the nuclear family on some level. Life was never unpleasant; there was just a nagging feeling that something was missing.
Anyway, I hope your session with Eileen prompts many posts here!
I recently reread some of my letters written to you and others during our college years and they sure didn't sound like the one you posted!
That huge stack of letters seems like a year's project. I wonder what you will find in them and what other gems, truths, and mysteries you will find about you and your parents. I have a huge stack I wrote my parents. Thank heavens my mother saved them but I haven't had the stamina to read many of them yet. Mostly because I wonder how I will use the contents. Too bad I'm not writing a memoir...
What saddens me is that so much of our parents' lives passed before our eyes and we had no clue or interest about them. Now that it's too late, I'm sorry I didn't probe. Probably the same gap happens between us and our children and someday, they, like many adults, will say the same thing. But one has to get to a certain age and maturity to even get that this is important. Like in their 60s :)
Wasn't that a kick? So unlike the writing in our day, I agree! I threw away most of my letters that my mom had kept, as well as diaries and all the childhood letters from my friends that I had kept. I know how overwhelmed I was at the time, and couldn't cope with the emotional volume of any more stuff. After feeling the relief when I let go of that weight (there was literally an enormous moving trunk FULL of paperwork), I was certain I did the right thing for my mental health. However I did notice that there are a couple of my letters tucked into this stack I have with me, and admit I am curious to see what is in there! Thanks as always for your thoughtful comments!
Gosh, Sabrina - so many unanswered questions, so many rabbit holes of 'I wonder...?' to explore. Such a great post - what a terrific idea. 😊
Thanks Rebecca! It was a bit of a one-off, but an amusing story. Someday I may find a relative with a few answers....:)
What fun to happen upon this gem! It’s a keeper. I wonder if Sandy has kids who are still living -- were they regaled with this story as they grew up?
Great question Pam!! I hope she had a good sense of humour and it did become a fun story. We may never know...😉