It all began with a phone call...

and ended with an apology

Photo by Katrin Hauf on Unsplash

Welcome everyone! Thanks for being here to read along.

Recently I have been daring myself to read through a stack of old letters from my mother’s belongings. There are a huge batch of letters that she wrote to her mother when she was in France in 1950, and a group of my father’s letters to my mother the last few months before they were married. I haven’t had the stamina to read through those yet.

However, within the groups of letters I have found a few random ones. One of the letters without an envelop looked intriguing, and it was typewritten so a bit easier to read than the handwritten ones on that delicate aged paper, so I unfolded it and read through.

This lone letter is such a humorous tale I had to share it. I’ve recopied it here as is so you can read it the same way I did initially; that is, trying to figure out what exactly happened!

All you need to know to begin with is that my mother is JoAnn, the letter writer is Sandy (most of the names have been changed) and this is well before I was born. 

Stacks of letters to read…

---

Friday October 21, 1955

Dear JoAnn,

I think maybe I’ve just done something awful, tho’ Carol says I haven’t and not to worry -- but just in case, I have to quickly justify myself so you won’t be too mad at me…if you’re going to be mad, that is.

Jack Glynne (sp?) called tonite and seemed a very nice and gay fellow…we chit chatted and I said were you still having a good time in S.F. and he said oh yes very good and I mentioned that I hadn’t heard from you (in writing -- I temporarily forgot talking to you) since July and he said in that case I probably didn’t know that JOANN WAS ENGAGED…so I naturally exploded all over the telephone! 

I tried to sound calmly happy but am afraid that I only sounded slightly crazy…pretty soon I said all right Jack G. please start being gossipy and tell me all about Charly Simpson…to which he replied I was C.S.’s roommate, so I decided to be nice and not press him further, except to ask coyly had you made any definite plans…yes, they think they’ll get married in June. 

After much conversation about other things…Sandy trying to be blase, but her head whirling…I finally crept back to the subject foremost on my mind and casually asked how long you had been in this wonderful condition…oh well let’s see, says Jack Glynne, I guess it was about the middle of August. 

Photo by Quino Al on Unsplash

Sandy lets out another unladylike shriek and then starts silently cursing you for being a mystery lady… don’t you know that once you have lived at 24 Poplar you are NEVER supposed to have any secrets, no matter how personal!!...Well, all of this leads me to decide that altho’ Jack does not know it, he is probably speaking out of turn, so I say, after much gibberish (he thinks it is very funny that I do not know all this startling news), is this a big secret? 

I say this deliberately, JoAnn, because I am being noble and if it is a secret I am going to tell no-one, not even Carol…I am going to be the best of friends and not be a busy-body and mind other people’s business, and I am going to help you keep your secret until you desire otherwise. 

Photo by Ben White on Unsplash

Jack thinks this is also very funny and laughingly replies no of course it is not a secret. I pound him with questions and am told yes, her parents know about it as you were engaged when your daddy came to S.F. and met Charlie, yes, everyone knows about it, well, I can't imagine why they haven’t mentioned it to you…probably thought you knew…I ventured the information that I had talked to you shortly ago and you had not mentioned this little tidbit, even when pressed by me on the subject, and he also thinks this is very funny since EVERYBODY KNOWS. 

Collection of miniatures in a Mexican street scene. Photo taken in the Museum of International Folk Art, Santa Fe New Mexico

So I throw all caution to the winds, and proceed to feel like throttling you were I not so deliriously happy for you…I chit chat some more and we agree that Jack will join us some evening, and already he knows someone we know, so that is all fine and done and goodbye Jack. Hello Carol I think I have some very exciting news for you (tho’ I wonder to myself why you do not already have this news since you are a relative)...did you know etcetcetc. 

Carol is having a bridge party and is trying to remain calm because of her assembled guests…she manages to squawk that she would like to wring your neck (her words, I swear it!), and that she will call you tonight…I sort of hesitate at that but decide that if everyone everywhere else in the world knows of this but the Church’s [Carol’s family] and the Forests [Sandy and John], it’s just because you are too busy to write so I am not going to worry any further.

Pretty soon comes Albuquerque N.M. [Albuquerque, New Mexico, where my Grandfather lived] calling John Forest, which is not unusual since your daddy and John talk to each other about four times a week…so I say now don’t forget to tell him how happy we are to hear about JoAnn and so he does and…well, I’m sorry, cuz I guess it was the wrong thing to say. Your father was ‘surprised’ John said -- said he didn’t know about it, but would call you immediately. John tried to cover up but there wasn't much to be done at that point. 

Church in Old Town Albuquerque, New Mexico

By now you have talked to your father….I hope the whole thing wasn’t awful, and if it was, I apologize cuz I guess it was my fault. Sorry sorry sorry. Right after John talked to your dad, I called Carol, horrified at what I had seemingly done, and she said not to worry, that you couldn’t have been keeping it much of a secret. Anyhow, all my good intentions turned out with not so good results, but I did want you to know that the intentions were good. 

…JoAnn, again feeble apologies if I stuck my foot in it tonight…but we’re so excited and happy…Write write write and tell us everything… everything you want to, anyhow…and give our heartiest and warmest congratulations to Charlie Simpson…he couldn’t have done better if he searched the whole world…just wait until I tell him how lucky he is!

---

When I read this letter, these were the things I knew:

• My mother JoAnn was living in San Francisco, having moved from Denver sometime in the last year. Her father lived in Albuquerque, New Mexico (a state in the US for those who may not know!)

• “Carol Church” is my mother’s ‘cousin’, (once or twice removed but that’s not important) who lived in Denver. She was also a close friend of my mothers, and the only person I remember very fondly.

• The mysterious Charlie Simpson is my father (to be!) 

The things I did not know:

• The writer ‘Sandy’ who was in Denver. I am guessing this is a friend my mother had lived with (on 24 Poplar) when she worked in Denver after her college graduation. Sandy is married to John, who is also apparently a colleague of my grandfather.

• Jack Glynne: I have NO idea who he is! He must have been a previous roommate of my father’s who moved to Denver from San Francisco and was given Sandy’s number to look up when he moved there. But what a scallywag to pass along all that information, right??

Here are some of my questions:

1. How did I never hear this story before????

2. Why hadn’t my mother already told her father, or the others in this story, that she was engaged?

3. Who DID know she was engaged?

4. How close a friend was Sandy?

5. Who was this friend of my fathers and why was he spreading the news of their engagement?

6. How long did it take for this letter to get to San Francisco from Denver?

Some of these names are vaguely familiar, but I know they, and anyone else of that generation, are no longer around for me to ask these questions. None of it is of vital importance, of course, but it’s quite a humorously written episode in my mother's past. At the time, I’m sure my mother was furious. But still, I would have loved to have met Sandy!

---

Now I’d love to hear what you think after reading this:

• What questions do you have?

• How do you think my mother reacted to Sandy’s apology?

• What do you think of Jack Glynne?

As always, thank you so much for reading through a rather different essay this week! I’m always happy to hear what kinds of posts you like to read, and what kinds you would like to read more (or less) of….

Cheers,

xx Sabrina