My heart was filled with joy

For a while anyway, and that was good

Asilomar Beach, Carmel, California

The week after the election in the US I stayed away—mostly—from reading and scrolling and podcasts but still, it is not the outcome I wanted so I was a tiny bit dull in the head. I worked a long day in the garden which felt great: great to get my hands dirty, and to see the changes in the garden structure taking place. However, as often happens, I “overcooked it” as they say here. I got a bit sick that night, the rest of the week my stomach was off, and I believed malaise was all around me.

After a few more days passed I found myself with a little energy, and there it was: a sense of joy! How exciting to remember how wonderful joy is and how joy feels like a big expansive smile bursting from the core of one’s body. I welcomed her right back into my life, and said “please stay awhile” and—because I am British now—“have some tea.”

I know why Joy arrived: no magic really.

You may remember that it was only recently I lost a revived reconnection and it floored me. I was distraught, but didn’t give up. Now once again I reconnected with a long-time ago very dear friend with whom I had lost touch. I have hope that it will bring me—and her too—great joy to find our lives supporting each other once more.

Another reason: starting very soon, I will be spending days and days with my adult children and their partners. Days AND evenings. Together. All of us. For so many reasons this brings me great joy.

During the off-tummy malaise time I had a lengthy conversation with a group of friends I’ve known for most of my life, off and on. They are each smart and have led fascinating lives. Our conversations always lift me up, and this one was no exception, even though there was some serious post-election venting to be done.

And finally, for a few moments in the week, the sun is shining. It is cold, the sun is pale and its light is dim, but it is there. I head outside again to be one with the dim sun. (HA! dim sun/dim sum). The sun makes me squint with pleasure and the cold air reminds me I am alive and for a time, the world is good.

Isle of Wight

“Joy equals the good mood of the soul”

These wonderful words are from Brené Brown’s book Atlas of the Heart, quoting Anne Robertson who says that quotation comes from one of the definitions of the Greek word for joy: chairo. Right now that seems exactly right.

Joy comes from coffee, tea and a beachside cafe.

Exploring joy a little further—why not! I was on a roll and wasn’t going to do anything to get in the way!—I remembered this wonderful story from a favourite author/illustrator, Candace Rose Rardon. Her Blackbird story ends with:

“Some days,

it feels like there’s much

that’s blocking my way

when I try to create.

The noise of the world around me.

The noise of the online world.

The noise inside my own head.

And when there is,

I think of the blackbird

who, even when the forest

grows dense and dark

isn’t afraid to lift his head

and SING”¹

Photo by Rainhard Wiesinger on Unsplash

I feel so lucky that I was able to find my way to song in various forms. I am wishing that we all find our way to those important moments of joy, even if brief. That is when we can once again believe that there will be singing, and best of all that we can find our own way to sing and bring joy to others.

Sending you all love and joy ❤️ 🤗.

xo Sabrina

Wild calla lilies, Carmel, California

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1. Candace Rose Rardon, the blackbird and other stories: https://substack.com/home/post/p-143615694?r=44n0p