Such a wonderful story. And I sympathise. Well done on emptying the storage right out. True achievement.
Having downsized meticulous Dad and Mum to a townhouse, then on Mum's passing, cleaning out the house for my brother, I think kipple is a beast in waiting. I did keep a little of the parentals' goods but not much as we had also downsized so I was very rigorous.
After the estate settlement we purchased brother's half of Mum's house from him, cleaning out again - this was much harder as my brother is a hoarder of the psychological kind. We had to do it again when he decided his permanent home, Mum's coastal cottage, was too big. He lost the plot and we had to go in and sort/move the hoard. And purge/clean. He's since built himself a little house, but I know the hoarding is almost exploding out the door.
In response, at our little townhouse and coast cottage, I have regular spring cleans and purges of goods I know are pointless to save. I just don't want my children to go through what my husband and I have been through in the last 10 years. Possessions are nothing really, but loving, good memories are everything.
Ah, your last sentence says it all! It's that balance, isn't it, between what you need to trigger the memories, and what are just wonderful memories that need no physical space.
Sounds like you have had plenty of practice with the purging process. It is much harder to help someone else who is not ready or willing to give up those things.
Like you, I think of my kids when we let things go, knowing they will not have to make this particular decision later on top of everything else. But I also need to be a little more like you in putting a more rigorous yearly purge in place. I do little purges in closets and drawers now and then, but they are not rigorous. Behind my desk where I am standing now I have an overflowing set drawers with fabric scraps needing a good clean out and a realistic plan for the projects I will possibly (n)ever do!
I LOVED this, Sabrina! I am a strange combination of flea market and charity shop devotee and minimalist (probably due to all the moving). And my boyfriend is what I believe is called a 'flipper'! Buying second-hand things and selling them on, and we watch tons of shows of people that buy storage units. This is also the reason I don't think we can ever live together!
But that wasn't the only reason, the stories that that kipple must have fostered! You really must write a short story collection about it! And also, the unit/kipple as standing for all that we have gained and lost, the people that have come and gone. Fascinating and moving ❤️
I meant to ask you before how long you had been in the UK. 14.5 years, wowser! Yet you still have to leave and come back to renew your visa? How impolite. I shall have a word with Charles for you!
Thank you Jayne! What kind and observant comments. Looking back to that period in my life from father away certainly softens the memories. But the purging itself was–in the beginning—so very painful. And towards the end I couldn't get rid of things fast enough. But personal growth does happen, eventually!
We have become a fan of second hand furniture too, in a large part because it is so much more characterful and well made. There is a LOT available on the Island due to the 'turnover' of residents. Your boyfriend would probably love it! (Don't tell him)
You have given me food for thought about the possibilities for the 'adventures of kipple!' Maybe something we can play with in April :). And I'll let you know all the visa tales then too. 🤣🤣
I can totally imagine what a tough process it must have been - an emotional minefield in many ways, but as you say these experiences force growth in the end. Can’t wait to hear more about the story collection (it’s now a thing, it’s gonna happen!) and visa tales. I have a few I can share too 😂
Sabrina I love this piece and value it so strongly. I echo your other lovely commenters and say that stories such as yours have made me SO much more conscious of what I don’t want to have my children deal with at a later point! John and I have been steadily gifting items over the last several years via our local Buy Nothing Facebook site, and this past December I realized that there was no reason not to give my daughters jewelry that I was “saving” for them. It was a wonderful experience! They each agreed on what pieces they liked the most, and I felt wonderful doing that now. Plus I then knew which pieces no one wanted, and which could be passed on to someone who did! Marie Kondo brilliance.
Thank you for sharing this Martha! I love that you shared your saved jewelry now with your daughters. What a great idea! And like you say: it gives you all pleasure and a way to pass along all those things now to those who want them or can appreciate them. And you get to share that. Brilliant! And glad the story of kipple has helped you down that path ♥️
What was the precious book that you wanted so badly and couldn't find?
This story reminds me of a kipple adventure I had with my mother. She had a storage locker that she hadn't entered in twenty-five years. Which, of course, she was paying for. She asked me to help her clean it out because she didn't want to leave it for us to do. It would be one less thing on our mind. For days, we sorted through seat cushions, ripped lampshades, books, records, and various sets of china, and pieces of pottery. We took boxes to the Marin Art and Garden Shop to sell but they didn't want to the gold-rimmed white china or any other china. No one uses that stuff anymore. The rest we took to the Salvation Army or tossed. My mother received a check for $47.50 from the Art and Garden Center which she passed onto me for my labor.
I was so proud of her going through this process. She hesitated over several items. I could see the anguish on her face. She finally decided on her own she didn't need the objects and had no place to put them. When it was all said and done, she felt so happy and relieved.
My mother was very practical about recognizing the end of her days but deep down there it must have been painful too -- saying goodbye to these things and one part of her life after another.
I too want to make sure Fabio and I are sufficiently and comfortably minimalist for our children's sake.
Thank you for this post and all the memories it brings up.
Such a wonderful story. And I sympathise. Well done on emptying the storage right out. True achievement.
Having downsized meticulous Dad and Mum to a townhouse, then on Mum's passing, cleaning out the house for my brother, I think kipple is a beast in waiting. I did keep a little of the parentals' goods but not much as we had also downsized so I was very rigorous.
After the estate settlement we purchased brother's half of Mum's house from him, cleaning out again - this was much harder as my brother is a hoarder of the psychological kind. We had to do it again when he decided his permanent home, Mum's coastal cottage, was too big. He lost the plot and we had to go in and sort/move the hoard. And purge/clean. He's since built himself a little house, but I know the hoarding is almost exploding out the door.
In response, at our little townhouse and coast cottage, I have regular spring cleans and purges of goods I know are pointless to save. I just don't want my children to go through what my husband and I have been through in the last 10 years. Possessions are nothing really, but loving, good memories are everything.
Ah, your last sentence says it all! It's that balance, isn't it, between what you need to trigger the memories, and what are just wonderful memories that need no physical space.
Sounds like you have had plenty of practice with the purging process. It is much harder to help someone else who is not ready or willing to give up those things.
Like you, I think of my kids when we let things go, knowing they will not have to make this particular decision later on top of everything else. But I also need to be a little more like you in putting a more rigorous yearly purge in place. I do little purges in closets and drawers now and then, but they are not rigorous. Behind my desk where I am standing now I have an overflowing set drawers with fabric scraps needing a good clean out and a realistic plan for the projects I will possibly (n)ever do!
I LOVED this, Sabrina! I am a strange combination of flea market and charity shop devotee and minimalist (probably due to all the moving). And my boyfriend is what I believe is called a 'flipper'! Buying second-hand things and selling them on, and we watch tons of shows of people that buy storage units. This is also the reason I don't think we can ever live together!
But that wasn't the only reason, the stories that that kipple must have fostered! You really must write a short story collection about it! And also, the unit/kipple as standing for all that we have gained and lost, the people that have come and gone. Fascinating and moving ❤️
I meant to ask you before how long you had been in the UK. 14.5 years, wowser! Yet you still have to leave and come back to renew your visa? How impolite. I shall have a word with Charles for you!
Thank you Jayne! What kind and observant comments. Looking back to that period in my life from father away certainly softens the memories. But the purging itself was–in the beginning—so very painful. And towards the end I couldn't get rid of things fast enough. But personal growth does happen, eventually!
We have become a fan of second hand furniture too, in a large part because it is so much more characterful and well made. There is a LOT available on the Island due to the 'turnover' of residents. Your boyfriend would probably love it! (Don't tell him)
You have given me food for thought about the possibilities for the 'adventures of kipple!' Maybe something we can play with in April :). And I'll let you know all the visa tales then too. 🤣🤣
I can totally imagine what a tough process it must have been - an emotional minefield in many ways, but as you say these experiences force growth in the end. Can’t wait to hear more about the story collection (it’s now a thing, it’s gonna happen!) and visa tales. I have a few I can share too 😂
Oh, what fun! Soooo looking forward to this next trip! And now I have yet another distraction from the book and these weekly posts...😉
Ooops! Sorrrrry! 🤭
Sabrina I love this piece and value it so strongly. I echo your other lovely commenters and say that stories such as yours have made me SO much more conscious of what I don’t want to have my children deal with at a later point! John and I have been steadily gifting items over the last several years via our local Buy Nothing Facebook site, and this past December I realized that there was no reason not to give my daughters jewelry that I was “saving” for them. It was a wonderful experience! They each agreed on what pieces they liked the most, and I felt wonderful doing that now. Plus I then knew which pieces no one wanted, and which could be passed on to someone who did! Marie Kondo brilliance.
Thank you for sharing this Martha! I love that you shared your saved jewelry now with your daughters. What a great idea! And like you say: it gives you all pleasure and a way to pass along all those things now to those who want them or can appreciate them. And you get to share that. Brilliant! And glad the story of kipple has helped you down that path ♥️
What was the precious book that you wanted so badly and couldn't find?
This story reminds me of a kipple adventure I had with my mother. She had a storage locker that she hadn't entered in twenty-five years. Which, of course, she was paying for. She asked me to help her clean it out because she didn't want to leave it for us to do. It would be one less thing on our mind. For days, we sorted through seat cushions, ripped lampshades, books, records, and various sets of china, and pieces of pottery. We took boxes to the Marin Art and Garden Shop to sell but they didn't want to the gold-rimmed white china or any other china. No one uses that stuff anymore. The rest we took to the Salvation Army or tossed. My mother received a check for $47.50 from the Art and Garden Center which she passed onto me for my labor.
I was so proud of her going through this process. She hesitated over several items. I could see the anguish on her face. She finally decided on her own she didn't need the objects and had no place to put them. When it was all said and done, she felt so happy and relieved.
My mother was very practical about recognizing the end of her days but deep down there it must have been painful too -- saying goodbye to these things and one part of her life after another.
I too want to make sure Fabio and I are sufficiently and comfortably minimalist for our children's sake.
Thank you for this post and all the memories it brings up.