My mom, a San Francisco native and first generation Italian, taught me to be aware of my surroundings. She told me a story of when she was walking back at night from her part time retail job at age 14 during WWII. She said she would walk in the middle of the street so no one could come out and grab her from a building. She gave me a tool to stay safe.
Did a lot of travel in the US alone and my reptilian brain guided me with the following: don't go out alone at night, explore during the day but be aware of the surroundings, keep to well traveled areas - being with other people was good, avoid empty areas, and enjoy meeting new people.
I didn't go to Europe until I could go with a boyfriend at age 32! Ten years later, I found myself alone in Paris for a business trip and broke the rules above. I was older and more confident but still aware of my surroundings. I'll never forget light snow falling illuminated in the Parisian street lights as I walked home from a restaurant.
If my mom could stay safe walking home as a young teenager in the City, I could be careful and still enjoy my travels.
Thanks for sharing that Virgina! I think those of raised in or around big cities learned some basic street awareness from a young age. I'm thankful for that instinctive skill whenever I go someplace new, and especially at night. Your image of Paris in the snowfall is beautiful!
Another terrific essay! I had no idea you had this adventure. Wow! So interesting to learn more about you (and all of us) in the past as we move farther and farther away from that period.
I don't recall that I had a reptilian brain but I do remember that my father's words had the most effect on me. "Stay square and you can do anything you want." I'm not exactly sure what stay square meant but I think it had to do with stay away from drugs, alcohol, and cigarettes. Which for the most part, I did. Another message from him for which I am ever grateful still resounds in my head. If ever there was an adventure in the offing he said to do it. When I wondered if I should spend my first summer post college working in an office in San Francisco because it would look good on my resume or work on a dude ranch in the Tetons, he told me I had the rest of my life to work in an office. I packed my duffle for Jackson Hole.
When my brother deliberated between working on a salmon boat in Alaska or working in the city, my father told him to go to Alaska. My father always regretted turning down a trip to China on a boat in 1947 because it was time for him to settle down and get to work. That was after he and a close friend travelled through Europe for several months in 1946. Hmmm, you wonder why I live in Spain?
I look back on a trip to Spain in 1985 when I took the train from Germany, where I was living. After meeting up and traveling around with a friend, she returned to Madrid and I roamed around Andalucia. Looking back, I don't know how I did that. I had some language ability to help me get something to eat (mostly a bocadillo - cheese on a roll - the only vegetarian option in the whole country it seemed). Yet, I found lodging, the right train to get me from here to there, and I made it back to Madrid and then to Germany. You know - no phone, no internet - none of the magnificent tools that make traveling almost a breeze and that diminish getting lost.
Nothing like the adventures of your exotic trip to Yugoslavia but we did it! Those kinds of things were real confidence and character boosters.
And like you, I had no recollection of your travels to Germany and Spain! (I remember those years of endless cheese sandwiches). What great advice from your father! It didn't seem so scary back then, maybe since things moved a little bit more slowly, and people were very helpful and friendly for the most part. At any rate, clearly we both had the travel bug early on and didn't hesitate to go! You certainly made it part of your life's work too ❤️
Well, I am bold sometimes. And other times very much the rules girl too. Sometimes my heart takes over and I can justify almost anything, while the reptilian brain is screaming with agony. 🤣
Thanks, and now I am hoping I can tease out some of those long-ago bad ideas when we finally get to go for a walk together 😉
I love that query statement before you do something! In theory anyway: I'm guessing my 'stubborn' brain would come up with a lame justification why I should go ahead, but I think you are onto something much more thoughtful there. I'll try to remember that!
My INTENTIONS are pretty good with the query statement - although like you I'm sure I can think of a gazillion justifications to just do the thing anyway....! 🤣
My mom, a San Francisco native and first generation Italian, taught me to be aware of my surroundings. She told me a story of when she was walking back at night from her part time retail job at age 14 during WWII. She said she would walk in the middle of the street so no one could come out and grab her from a building. She gave me a tool to stay safe.
Did a lot of travel in the US alone and my reptilian brain guided me with the following: don't go out alone at night, explore during the day but be aware of the surroundings, keep to well traveled areas - being with other people was good, avoid empty areas, and enjoy meeting new people.
I didn't go to Europe until I could go with a boyfriend at age 32! Ten years later, I found myself alone in Paris for a business trip and broke the rules above. I was older and more confident but still aware of my surroundings. I'll never forget light snow falling illuminated in the Parisian street lights as I walked home from a restaurant.
If my mom could stay safe walking home as a young teenager in the City, I could be careful and still enjoy my travels.
Thanks for sharing that Virgina! I think those of raised in or around big cities learned some basic street awareness from a young age. I'm thankful for that instinctive skill whenever I go someplace new, and especially at night. Your image of Paris in the snowfall is beautiful!
Another terrific essay! I had no idea you had this adventure. Wow! So interesting to learn more about you (and all of us) in the past as we move farther and farther away from that period.
I don't recall that I had a reptilian brain but I do remember that my father's words had the most effect on me. "Stay square and you can do anything you want." I'm not exactly sure what stay square meant but I think it had to do with stay away from drugs, alcohol, and cigarettes. Which for the most part, I did. Another message from him for which I am ever grateful still resounds in my head. If ever there was an adventure in the offing he said to do it. When I wondered if I should spend my first summer post college working in an office in San Francisco because it would look good on my resume or work on a dude ranch in the Tetons, he told me I had the rest of my life to work in an office. I packed my duffle for Jackson Hole.
When my brother deliberated between working on a salmon boat in Alaska or working in the city, my father told him to go to Alaska. My father always regretted turning down a trip to China on a boat in 1947 because it was time for him to settle down and get to work. That was after he and a close friend travelled through Europe for several months in 1946. Hmmm, you wonder why I live in Spain?
I look back on a trip to Spain in 1985 when I took the train from Germany, where I was living. After meeting up and traveling around with a friend, she returned to Madrid and I roamed around Andalucia. Looking back, I don't know how I did that. I had some language ability to help me get something to eat (mostly a bocadillo - cheese on a roll - the only vegetarian option in the whole country it seemed). Yet, I found lodging, the right train to get me from here to there, and I made it back to Madrid and then to Germany. You know - no phone, no internet - none of the magnificent tools that make traveling almost a breeze and that diminish getting lost.
Nothing like the adventures of your exotic trip to Yugoslavia but we did it! Those kinds of things were real confidence and character boosters.
And like you, I had no recollection of your travels to Germany and Spain! (I remember those years of endless cheese sandwiches). What great advice from your father! It didn't seem so scary back then, maybe since things moved a little bit more slowly, and people were very helpful and friendly for the most part. At any rate, clearly we both had the travel bug early on and didn't hesitate to go! You certainly made it part of your life's work too ❤️
Sabrina! I had no idea you were so bold! At 22 I was still the timid “rules” girl.
Well, I am bold sometimes. And other times very much the rules girl too. Sometimes my heart takes over and I can justify almost anything, while the reptilian brain is screaming with agony. 🤣
Wow, Sabrina - this post had me on the edge of my seat throughout! Impressed, horrified, impressed, horrified... all at once!
I've done sooooo many things that were SUCH bad ideas - both at the time and with decades of hindsight. #notsharing 🤣
Something I have trained myself to do (and this would've been so useful had I thought of this years before I came up with it!) is to ask myself this:
'Could I tell my parents or husband about this, if I went ahead and did it?'
If the answer is: 'Of course not, they'd be really worried about you!' well, that's the star I'll steer by!
Thanks, and now I am hoping I can tease out some of those long-ago bad ideas when we finally get to go for a walk together 😉
I love that query statement before you do something! In theory anyway: I'm guessing my 'stubborn' brain would come up with a lame justification why I should go ahead, but I think you are onto something much more thoughtful there. I'll try to remember that!
🤣 Yes, I'm sure you will!
My INTENTIONS are pretty good with the query statement - although like you I'm sure I can think of a gazillion justifications to just do the thing anyway....! 🤣
(Don't tell, though!)