In search of sun and oxygen

And filling up the tank!

Carmel beach

For the last couple of weeks we have been visiting family and friends in California. 

Visits with my longtime friends are my oxygen, my comfort, my touchstone. 

In one sense they are my home. ‘Home’ like the safe ‘base’ we had when we played tag as kids. The place where we are safe from the threats of the other side, the other team. As grownups, home is (for most of us, hopefully) where we are safe from the bigger world where we have to put on our masks and roles to do our jobs, perform our obligations, and function in a society. Base or home is where we can relax our guard, not be performing for someone else, and just be fully ourselves.

In that sense, these visits are where, for a few weeks, I’m not trying to be anything to anybody, or trying hard to fit into a culture that is just enough different to mine that I have to work a tiny bit harder to navigate the day. Instead, since here I understand how things work, daily life is just easier. I spend my time with the people who get me and who fill up my heart with confidence and laughter and love and tears and understanding and empathy and silliness. 

I love that we start talking as if there has been little time since the last visit; we just jump right back into the silly talk, the memories, and the new insights we have had in our separate lives since the last chat. I like the weaving that occurs, sharing the new experiences with each other to knit our lives back together again. Maybe crochet is a better analogy? There are holes, but great strength too? If only I crafted more with needles I would know the appropriate stitching reference! Friends who stitch: what would be a good analogy here?

I don't want to give the impression that I am complaining about my life in the UK. I really do love my life there. Most days I don’t even register that I am different, from somewhere else. And often it feels good to be the outsider, the one who doesn’t know how things are supposed to be done. It frees me up to ask questions about the WAY things are done that others might not feel comfortable asking since they are supposed to know. I get to be the one who wants to clarify things. As a result sometimes I am actually the irritating one, since everyone actually does already know. Whoops; oh well, there’s always one. (see this blog if you want to read more about my trials navigating language differences.)

But right now, on this trip, I am filling up my soul and heart with the warmth of my forever friendships and banking that intimacy for the days when I am living in a place where I don’t have all these friends around me in my daily life. Thankfully now with technology we can reach each other in many online ways, so we can maintain the ties of connection until the next visit.

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A part of this trip that has been somewhat unexpected is the persistent cold and rain. Most of the the 13 years I have been living in the UK has seen a major drought in California, so even the winters here have been mainly and unusually dry. Not great for the local ecosystems but rather wonderful for my self-centred desire for relief from damp weather. The other consequence is that many of our summer and autumn visits have been affected by the raging fires and smoke of previous years. Maybe I’ll regale you with stories of quarantining during covid alongside local fire risks and excessive smoke one day :)

We don’t complain (too much) this trip about the rain and cold because the state so desperately needs it. It’s been less good for long walks and sun basking, but the vistas of snow in unexpected places, and the lush greenery and flowers that are popping up again after such parched conditions is a joy to witness. I’m going to revert to travelogue mode and show you some of the photos from this trip. (if you want to see more photos, you can check out my instagram account.)

We spent a few days in San Francisco when we first arrived.

Golden Gate Bridge, Ghirardeli Square (known for historic chocolate factory), Palace of Fine Arts built for the 1915 Panama-Pacific International Exposition

We have discovered that walking is the best cure for jet lag, so we walked. A lot. But we ate well too. This was my lunch the day we walked 15 miles; Pete ate a huge charcuterie plate but I don’t eat meat so no photos of his, sorry!

Smoked yogurt topped with red quinoa, roasted beetroot/beets, radishes, apples, rocket/arugula…mmmm!

Moving south, we spent a few days in coastal Central California, staying with longtime friends in Pacific Grove, which is between Monterey and Carmel/Pebble Beach. Between storms we took some lovely walks to and along the beaches:

We also saw seals, sea otters and other coastal wildlife. This seal below reminded me of nigiri sushi the way he/she was lying across the rectangular rock:

Seal posing as nigiri sushi

We continued south, and if you know California, this snow below is in the Salinas Valley and it SHOULD NOT BE THERE. But, how lovely!!!

After traversing the snowy hills we arrived in Santa Barbara and are still braving freezing temperatures even here. There was a little sleet the day I took these, but also more gorgeous coastline and of course another ever present hazard warning.

Beach next to the University of California Santa Barbara campus, another kind of climate warning

That is it for this week. We’ve got a little bit longer in my home state to soak up the currently rare sun, the fresh veggies, and the always wonderful friendships. I’m filling up my tank with all of them until we return. Hope your week ahead brings you a healthy serving of each of those too! And thanks again for reading!

Let me know if you have been to California, and if so, what you think?

Do you have friends whose companionship fills up your tank?

Are you as crazed about fresh food as I am?

And what stitching or other craft might best compare to those long-time friendships?

xx Sabrina