Lovely, Sabrina. When I lived on the Upper West Side of Manhattan, I felt that kinship of neighborhood, even in a huge bustling city. I had a favorite cafe, La Rosita de Broadway, where I would practice my Spanish (to Sydney’s embarrassment). I always asked how business was, worrying these small shops were being swallowed up by developers. The staff was always so appreciative of my interest, and were honored that I spoke their language.
How fun that you practiced your Spanish, and wonderful that you showed an interest in their business! I've found that is always a good topic to engage with small businesses, as there is so much going on for them. And most people don't care about the business itself. I'm sure your care and attention was such an uplift for them. Thanks for sharing that Dana!
What a lovely homecoming post, Sabrina! And it's lovely to learn more about a place that's becoming more familiar to me, too, over successive visits to the island - we were on the Sandown-Shanklin Revetment back in August!
When I first moved to the village I still live in, I used to only visit the Village Stores and Post Office when I happened to be passing in my car on the way or way back from somewhere, rather than walk the 400 yards to get there on foot from my house. I was (am) painfully shy, and in a very sociable, close-knit community such as this one there was every chance that somebody might say 'hello!' to me. I couldn't cope with even the idea of that, so I wouldn't put myself in that position.
I began to thaw after a while - just as well, crazy girl that I am - and I've got to know people, and they've got to know me! But it was ever so hard to start with. Now I love where I live.
Granny used to make the BEST rock cakes! We called them 'rockers'. The secret is the candied peel....
Ohhh! Thanks for sharing your secret to rockers!!! I dare not try to make them myself though as they will truly be rocks and not cakes!
It took me awhile to feel comfortable talking to people at first when I moved to England. At least in Plymouth, people were really friendly and always said hello first, and of course as soon as I opened my mouth I’d get questioned about where I was from. I had to get my courage pretty quickly. My strategy is always to try to be the first to ask questions! Then the other person ‘gets’ to talk while I listen and think of the next question. 😉
So happy you overcame your resistance and are so happy where you are. It shines through when you write about it.
It's the power of a smile and a nod. A brief comment or complement that sows the seeds of these acquaintances. I've experienced that you don't have to live in a small town to do this. I "know" the people who work on the ferry because I'm one of the few who smile and say "hello". The security guards in front of the dispensary and parking garages greet me with a "how are you doing?" The people at four places I've frequent for lunch recognize me with a warm smile. At the taqueria, I practice my Spanish when placing my order. If I'm not getting an egg sandwich at one place, I wave through the window. Another place remembers my favorite sandwich. More dramatically, at another deli, I was the one who called 911 when things got out of had with two men who were on drugs. Ironically, the staff had been given permission by the owner to give free food to the homeless who came in. Instead these guys started yelling and escalated with physical threats. Despite the challenges of urban life, behind the tall buildings and concrete sidewalks, we carve out community.
You are right Virginia; those little gestures can be so powerful. I love your description of all the places you feel a connection to-really wonderful to hear about!
I would love to live in a place small enough where people like shopkeepers get to recognise and know you. We have one or two restaurants small enough where we feel "known" but other than that I feel everything is just too big around me to get that feeling. Even after living here for over 20 years, live feels more anonymous.
I know that feeling you describe of everything being too big, especially in the suburbs and sprawling cities where cars are the main way to get around. It’s amazing what a difference having a walking location makes to how people interact with each other. Thanks for pointing that out Susi-I hadn’t really thought of it explicitly like that before. Hopefully you have found friends and other ways to knit yourself into your location after all these years!
Lovely, Sabrina. When I lived on the Upper West Side of Manhattan, I felt that kinship of neighborhood, even in a huge bustling city. I had a favorite cafe, La Rosita de Broadway, where I would practice my Spanish (to Sydney’s embarrassment). I always asked how business was, worrying these small shops were being swallowed up by developers. The staff was always so appreciative of my interest, and were honored that I spoke their language.
How fun that you practiced your Spanish, and wonderful that you showed an interest in their business! I've found that is always a good topic to engage with small businesses, as there is so much going on for them. And most people don't care about the business itself. I'm sure your care and attention was such an uplift for them. Thanks for sharing that Dana!
What a lovely homecoming post, Sabrina! And it's lovely to learn more about a place that's becoming more familiar to me, too, over successive visits to the island - we were on the Sandown-Shanklin Revetment back in August!
When I first moved to the village I still live in, I used to only visit the Village Stores and Post Office when I happened to be passing in my car on the way or way back from somewhere, rather than walk the 400 yards to get there on foot from my house. I was (am) painfully shy, and in a very sociable, close-knit community such as this one there was every chance that somebody might say 'hello!' to me. I couldn't cope with even the idea of that, so I wouldn't put myself in that position.
I began to thaw after a while - just as well, crazy girl that I am - and I've got to know people, and they've got to know me! But it was ever so hard to start with. Now I love where I live.
Granny used to make the BEST rock cakes! We called them 'rockers'. The secret is the candied peel....
Ohhh! Thanks for sharing your secret to rockers!!! I dare not try to make them myself though as they will truly be rocks and not cakes!
It took me awhile to feel comfortable talking to people at first when I moved to England. At least in Plymouth, people were really friendly and always said hello first, and of course as soon as I opened my mouth I’d get questioned about where I was from. I had to get my courage pretty quickly. My strategy is always to try to be the first to ask questions! Then the other person ‘gets’ to talk while I listen and think of the next question. 😉
So happy you overcame your resistance and are so happy where you are. It shines through when you write about it.
😊
It's the power of a smile and a nod. A brief comment or complement that sows the seeds of these acquaintances. I've experienced that you don't have to live in a small town to do this. I "know" the people who work on the ferry because I'm one of the few who smile and say "hello". The security guards in front of the dispensary and parking garages greet me with a "how are you doing?" The people at four places I've frequent for lunch recognize me with a warm smile. At the taqueria, I practice my Spanish when placing my order. If I'm not getting an egg sandwich at one place, I wave through the window. Another place remembers my favorite sandwich. More dramatically, at another deli, I was the one who called 911 when things got out of had with two men who were on drugs. Ironically, the staff had been given permission by the owner to give free food to the homeless who came in. Instead these guys started yelling and escalated with physical threats. Despite the challenges of urban life, behind the tall buildings and concrete sidewalks, we carve out community.
You are right Virginia; those little gestures can be so powerful. I love your description of all the places you feel a connection to-really wonderful to hear about!
I would love to live in a place small enough where people like shopkeepers get to recognise and know you. We have one or two restaurants small enough where we feel "known" but other than that I feel everything is just too big around me to get that feeling. Even after living here for over 20 years, live feels more anonymous.
I know that feeling you describe of everything being too big, especially in the suburbs and sprawling cities where cars are the main way to get around. It’s amazing what a difference having a walking location makes to how people interact with each other. Thanks for pointing that out Susi-I hadn’t really thought of it explicitly like that before. Hopefully you have found friends and other ways to knit yourself into your location after all these years!