That in-between place
Up until this week I’ve been in that funny ‘ole in-between place that comes the two or three weeks before Thanksgiving in a country that doesn’t celebrate it. This off-kilter feeling is set off initially by the increasing darkness of late autumn-winter. And this year the rain has arrived in droves. Or sheets, or waves, or cats and dogs, or however you choose to describe lots and lots of rain off and on, for days. Yesterday rain; today none. Tomorrow the sheets are back. And so on.
It was only after we weren’t celebrating it regularly that I realised the timing of Thanksgiving has other benefits besides a day to eat with abandon. For one: in my collection of holidays (yours may vary of course) there isn’t otherwise something to look forward to after the end of summer until Christmas except increasingly longer dark and colder days. Part of that is my choice: Halloween isn’t a big deal here unless you have young children, and ever since a firecracker exploded near my face the year after we arrived in the UK, I’m not a big fan of the 5th November fireworks celebrations either.
Thanksgiving is the gentle punctuation mark before which Christmas music, movies and decorations are generally forbidden, in my house, anyway. Thanksgiving Day itself is a chance to gather calmly with chosen family in a sort of deep breath, enjoy-the-day-for-what-it-is, and take stock of our blessings, before the madness of the December holiday season unfurls itself upon us. Getting ready for Thanksgiving has a different quality: it is not about presents or your religion or politics, or anything about your past or future. It is about preparing food, giving thanks for where you are right now, and allowing yourself to enjoy this meal with your chosen people for that day.
Since Christmas decor is out of the question before Thanksgiving Day, I’ve been trying other small steps to encourage cheer and brightness. The pervasive cloud cover has extended the dark hours another half-hour into each end of daytime, so there is a LOT more dark now. I’ve moved the empty colourful gin bottles with fairy lights back into the front room where we spend our evenings; they are settled into the non-working fireplace, and are looking a bit lonely and a slightly dimmer this year. There may be more fairy lights joining them soon—it is time to add a little extra sparkle into the darkness!
We are diligently taking our outside walks in the early afternoon each day to be sure to soak up as much Vitamin D as we can from the meagre light. An hour along the beach is a tonic, regardless of the weather.
We are interspersing our caretaking rounds with visits to new places and making errands as fun-filled as we can (cafe stops always included). I decided to start a big difficult puzzle, with the incentive it has to be finished by the end of this week so there is room to put out the winter festive decorations. I’m trying REALLY HARD not to peek and possibly rifle through the three crates of decorations that are now pulled down from the attic waiting patiently in the guest room.
This year we won’t be hosting other people for a big or even small Thanksgiving celebration. I did gather the ingredients to prepare a small-scale ‘feast’ of most of my favourite foods, and encouraged Pete to get a small bit of bird for him to roast in the oven. I love the smell of a roasting bird on Thanksgiving Day, even though I haven’t eaten any meat in many many decades. I like the smell from a distance, but not too much, so I have to do a bit of a dance with food prep as the bird gets cooked and the smells increase. And yes, as I write this I realise how bonkers it sounds. Whatever.
That’s the special deal about Thanksgiving: there is no one way, no right way, no better or only way. You can follow a traditional formula for your feast, or be rather quirky, like me. Every family or group has it’s way of celebrating the day that suits them. At it’s core, Thanksgiving is just a little bit of food lovingly prepared for the people you choose, wherever you end up. And it’s a moment to stop and give thanks for this day, right then and there, and to be thankful for more if you want.
Although we are celebrating with a small thanksgiving this year, as always I have BIG blessed thanks for my family nearby, and especially those far away who I miss seeing for the holiday. I give thanks for our good health, and the dear people and places I love.
Maybe while the bird is roasting I may take just a few of the less obvious holiday decorations out of their boxes….
Wishing you all a lovely Thanksgiving, however you chose to celebrate, or not!.
Thank you dear readers for being with me each week, and always for your lovely and thoughtful comments. For you I am ALWAYS thankful!
I’d love to hear about your Thanksgiving traditions, if you celebrate, and if you don’t, how you chose to mark the transition time before the winter holidays.
Until next time,
xx Sabrina
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Thanks for this, Sabrina. I think Thanksgiving might be my favorite holiday of all, both for the food (I love all the traditional elements of the Turkey Day feast: the turkey itself, the dressing, my homemade cranberry-orange-apricot chutney, the mashed potatoes, the sweet potatoes, and especially the pies) and for the fellowship and generosity (when I was in college, I could never afford to fly the three thousand miles home for the holiday - I came home for Christmas break and for the summer, and that was all - but I had four of the most wonderful and memorable Thanksgivings of my life thanks to various people who welcomed me to their homes and tables). This year, Sonya tested positive for Covid upon our return from Italy (I’ve tested negative twice so far), which forced us to cancel our plans to spend the day in Oakland with her BFF Donna, Donna’s partner Richard, and their elderly parents. Instead, we’re going to have a quiet Thanksgiving, just the two of us at her house. It will be lovely, but it will feel a little strange not to be sharing the feast with others. Nonetheless, and despite whatever sorrows or frustrations we may be experiencing, we know we still have so much more for which to be thankful. Happy Thanksgiving to all!
This tribute to Thanksgiving resonated deeply with me. I know exactly how you feel about missing and wanting it but having no big pushes from family and friends to celebrate in a place where that Thursday is just another day. As I learned the hard way, we need to celebrate - not so much for the food but as a way to take the time to count our zillions of blessings and things we have to be thankful for.
Since we didn't celebrate on Thanksgiving day, and I learned the error of my ways, we're celebrating this afternoon before going off to a concert of Christmas music. We're having stuffed butternut squash, sauteed wild mushrooms with garlic, and Brussel sprouts. Fabio has finally learned to like them so I'm taking advantage of that. After we walk home from the concert, we'll top it off with pumpkin pie, that for some reason, already has several slices missing.
We broke the no Christmas decorations before Thanksgiving rule because Fabio leaves for Colombia on December 5. We won't come back from our family Christmas until the end of December. We had to break the rule to have Christmas cheer here, another painful lesson I learned about the importance of Christmas cheer here even though we'll be away the week of Christmas.
All these adjustments and mind changes due to living abroad. Glad we can still be flexible and celebrate the meaning of day and season even if a bit out of synch.